you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
