The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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