My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
