did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
