Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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