I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
