You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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