That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
that is very illegal...i love you.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
