And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
