the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Randomize
