What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
