went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
