We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
