but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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