You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Randomize
