Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
