Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
