he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize