I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
