i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
