Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
