That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
