I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.