Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
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idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
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just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.