So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
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dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
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What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed