remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Naked Twister starts at high noon
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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