It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize