Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize