I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
