I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize