My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize