hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
