Nicole vs. Life
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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