You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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