I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
