on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
im holly from the hills drunk
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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