omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
