Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Randomize
