This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
