I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
