How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Randomize
