It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
