i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
