I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
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