The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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