So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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