theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
