you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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