You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
