Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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