i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Randomize
