Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
