Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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