What a fucking waste of an outfit
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Randomize
