Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
