He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
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