So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Randomize
