she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
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