I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
