I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Randomize