I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
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